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2006 ANNUAL
FUNDSFORWRITERS ESSAY CONTEST
THE FIRST PLACE WINNER (NO
ENTRY FEE DIVISION)
ALL YOU NEED IS...
by Margaret Skipworth
$1,000. Dream on. How could I spend that money to further my writing
career? Sign up for a writing course? That's not a bad idea. I'll put
that at the top of my list. A writing holiday, perhaps? Or a new
computer? A computer that doesn't go blank when I'm desperate to get the
words on to the screen. Writing books? Not essential...
The phone rings. "Hi, Mom. How are you today?" I have to make myself
sound cheerful. I force all hint of annoyance out of my tone. I already
know what she's going to say.
"I'm not too good today," she mumbles. My heart aches - for my Mom and
for me. My writing time is over. I swallow my disappointment. "Can you
come round and help me, love?"
"Course I can." With my free hand I reach for the mouse and switch off
the computer. "Don't worry. I'll be there in twenty minutes." The thought
creeps into my mind that Mom's like a thief, stealing my time. I hate
myself. I gulp back resentment. It's replaced by a feeling of guilt. It's
not Mom's fault she's in her 80s and struggling to remain independent.
It's not her fault I can't bring her to live with me and look after her
properly.
I'd planned to write a short story today. I shove my scribbled notes in a
drawer and indulge in a deep, self-pitying sigh. $1,000. The figure pops
into my head. I snigger. What good is a new computer when I don't have
time to use it anyway? And why join a writing course when I couldn't
attend all the sessions? $1,000. Money can't buy time, can it?
As I'm driving to Mom's house I think of all the advice I've read about
making time to write. Get up earlier. Go to bed later. Stop watching TV,
cleaning the house, walking the dog...hey, I could even think up ideas
for plots and characters while I'm driving. I'll do that on the way home,
I promise myself.
I'm extra-kind to Mom today. I'm humming all the time I'm helping her.
Perhaps I could write a story on the theme of resentment. What about an
article about the problems of caring for an elderly relative or growing
old?
"You're a good daughter," Mom says. She's enjoying the meal I've served
up. I thump the pillows to get rid of my frustration as I'm making her
bed.
The $1,000 is in my head again. "Hey, Mom, what would you do with
$1,000?" I ask as I'm washing the dishes.
"Pay someone to wash all them dishes and make my bed," she laughs.
I perch on the edge of her chair and give her a hug. She's right. $1,000
could buy a lot of help for Mom. Help with the practical stuff in the
home. Help that would free me to do more writing. I could sit down at my
computer, feeling fresh and raring to go, instead of jaded and burnt out.
I smile. Perhaps I could chat to Mom again about my writing, like we used
to - before she got too old and I got too tired.
"Thanks, Mom." I plant a kiss on her cheek.
"Now, what's that for?"
"For giving me an idea."
She chuckles and shakes her head. Her eyelids are drooping. It's time for
her afternoon nap. I give her another kiss, then I let myself out and
lock the door behind me.
I'm smiling as I walk to the car. The $1,000 is with me again. I know
it's not a fortune. But it would be enough. Enough to buy me the best aid
of all for my writing - a little extra time.
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