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THERE AND BACK AGAIN; A WRITER’S TALE
by Mary Schneider
I fell into a rut this winter. A deep, slushy, never-ending,
New York-winter rut. My family was avoiding me. My demeanor
depressed even my own characters. This wasn’t your normal,
everyday writer’s block. This was writer’s wall, and I was
trapped, frozen behind its looming menace.
I knew where to find the cure. In 2006, I attended the Montrose
Christian Writers’ Conference (MCWC) in Pennsylvania. There is
nothing like spending time with people who “get” you for banishing
low self-esteem and making dreams seem tantalizingly possible. I
needed a week at MCWC the way a woman needs chocolate. Maybe more.
There was one problem. Our bank balance had been depleted by a
series of, dare I say it? Unfortunate events. I spent days
agonizing over lists of expenses versus income, but any way I
added, the numbers crunched up short. MCWC 2007 was a fading
dream.
In early spring, I got the devastating news that my friend and
the mentor of MCWC’s weeklong critique group, “Write Now”, might
not return in 2007 because of recurring health issues. Even if
she did come back, this would be her last summer at the conference.
She’d spoken six years running by then, and the faculty is rotated
in order to keep the conference fresh for return attendees.
Over the next few months, news continued to trickle in. She was
doing better. It seemed almost certain she’d be able to come back.
I knew MCWC 2007 was an opportunity I couldn’t afford to miss,
both professionally and personally. I had no idea how to make it
happen, though, until a friend suggested applying for a scholarship.
At first, I hated the idea. I was raised in a “pull yourself up
by the bootstraps” family. We don’t ask for handouts. In May,
news came that our mentor would almost certainly attend. I knew
I couldn’t miss this chance.
Pride is a hard thing to swallow. It sticks in your throat and
makes your eyes burn as it slides down into the pit of your
stomach and lies there like a lead weight. I e-mailed the
Conference Director, and inquired about a scholarship, mentioning
how much the Write Now group meant to me the previous year.
To my surprise, I received a reply very quickly. There were a
limited number of scholarships available, and I qualified. All
I had to do was e-mail the Pastor in charge of the conference
with my request, and pay the initial deposit. A tense moment
came when I had to ask my husband for the deposit. I wondered
if, even now, I might be shot down by our financial difficulties.
We had to wait a week, but we got the deposit together, just. A
week later, two extra days at work gave my cash-flow enough of a
boost to pay for a professional critique session.
MCWC 2007 was an amazing, magical time. Perhaps knowing that our
time together was limited sweetened our laughter and deepened
bonds. Perhaps it was re-connecting with friends, discovering I
still enjoy them as much as I did that first, heady week last
summer. Perhaps it was hearing the author who evaluated my
manuscript say it was “the best thing” she’d been asked to read.
Whatever the source, magic happened at MCWC. I came home refreshed,
renewed. I had my second novel critiqued and forged contacts with
editors. I reconnected with my mentor, and the members of Write
Now continue to support me by e-mail as I prepare my two novels
for submission. MCWC was the dynamite I needed to knock down my
writers’ wall.
BIO
Mary Schneider is an author whose dearest dream is to write a
novel for young adults so powerful, so compelling in its honesty,
that it is banned from an entire state. Her hero is Chris Crutcher,
whose books were recently removed from the schools in South
Carolina. She has written a chapter for the collaborated work,
The Muse on Writing, and her short story, Nerve, appeared in
Cricket Magazine.
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